Two Elon alumni (2002) have pooled their talents to bring excitement and joy to your day. One is a classy woman who combines her Italian and feminine powers to influence men of all shapes and sizes. The other is a tall blond man who relies on wit and boyish good looks to impress women, especially when they're drunk. Join them in their epic pursuit of the phenomenon known as adulthood. NoSalesTax side effects may include addiction and abrupt laughter as colleagues look on in confused jealousy.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

One of My Favorite Days of the Year

is today, the first day of summer, the longest day of the year. To me, it symbolizes the opening to another chapter in the year, when everyone is outside and the world teems w/ life. The sun rose over Boston at 4:08am today, which is unbelievably early, yet the sunrise each year is worth a night of little sleep. There is something magical in watching dawn on the longest day of the year, as if I'm witnessing history, like going to the ballpark and watching a no-hitter unfold into the ninth inning. The magnitude of the moment is not lost, but instead sits densely in the atmosphere, oozing through each onlooker indiscriminately.

June 21 also marks a sad day on the calendar, because for the next six months each day will be shorter than its predecessor, each gasp of sunlight will be more faint than the morning before, until eventually winter rolls in once again. This bittersweet day brings w/ it bittersweet memories, places I've never visited, people to whom I've never explained my love. This date has always held special meaning for me, serving as a sign to open bedroom windows and let the world in, sunlight and all. I'll worry about the shortening days some other time. Right now, I'm going to enjoy the last moments of this year's longest day before falling asleep. Maybe I'll dream of longer days, longer years where I'll find the time to do everything I'd like. Maybe someday.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

I'm Rubber, You're Glue...

While discussing Ani Difranco w/ my friend last week, he shared w/ me the content of an email he once sent to his ex-g/f. Quoting Gravel, he simply wrote to her, "You were never a good lay, and you were never a good friend." My response? "Awesome." So tell us, what's the meanest thing you've ever said/done to an ex? Let the entertainment begin!

Monday, June 19, 2006

To-Do List (Before Death)

My friend Steve recently shared w/ me his list of 100 things he hopes to do in his life. Not a bad idea. So I gave it a shot late the other night as I fought off sleep while laying in bed. Think you're up to it? Give it a shot. You may learn something about yourself, which is always a treat. Here's the first tenth of my list, in no particular order. Let me know if you wanna hear more, submit your own in our "comments" section, or just respond w/, "J-Mazz, this is your worst post yet." I can take it.

1. Learn to play guitar well

2. Drive cross-country w/ a friend

3. Be best man in a wedding

4. Try out for Saturday Night Live

5. Live in a European city w/ a friend (Rome/Barcelona/London, etc.)

6. Learn to make crepes

7. Work at a ropes course

8. Be someone’s mentor

9. Visit the Grand Canyon

10. Dunk in a game