Two Elon alumni (2002) have pooled their talents to bring excitement and joy to your day. One is a classy woman who combines her Italian and feminine powers to influence men of all shapes and sizes. The other is a tall blond man who relies on wit and boyish good looks to impress women, especially when they're drunk. Join them in their epic pursuit of the phenomenon known as adulthood. NoSalesTax side effects may include addiction and abrupt laughter as colleagues look on in confused jealousy.

Friday, March 24, 2006


The next time someone accuses me of being unable to multi-task, I'm gonna show them this pic, taken in DC last month while spending a week w/ a group of teens on a church mission trip. As you can see, I'm playing harmonica and guitar at the same time, all while serving as a role model for teens!

Dear Abby

At the Leaders Club (HS club for which I'm the advisor) meeting last nite, one of the teens began a values session by reading the following Dear Abby letter:

A young man from a famous family was about to graduate from high school. It was the custom in that affluent neighborhood for the parents to give the graduate an automobile. "Bill" and his father had spent months looking at cars, and the week before graduation, they found the perfect car.

On the eve of his graduation, his father handed him a gift-wrapped Bible.

Bill was so angry that he threw the Bible down and stormed out of the house.

He and his father never saw each other again.

It was the news of his father's death that brought Bill home again.

At this point, the teen asked each of us to write down what we thought the young man found upon returning home. Here's what I wrote:

The young man discovers his parents adopted a boy to be their new son. The adopted son is often seen cruising through town in the car the young man had picked out years before. There's a Jesus fish on the back of the car.

I'm supposed to be a role model for these teens, but I just couldn't resist on that one.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

The iPod Has Landed

My life may never be the same. Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta get back to loading movies onto my new best friend.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006


I made my first purchase via eBay today. For $49.99, I bought a child mannequin. Seriously. Let the comments begin.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

I'm Old

Saturday marks my 26th birthday. Despite holding down a career for more than a year and the constant questions from friends/relatives about when I'm going to "meet someone," I've done a pretty good job feeling young. That is, until I received a letter today from my grandmother. I opened the card and immediately felt strange, as if something was wrong. I then realized there was no check included, a wake-up call to the fact I am old. The grey hair and arthritis should kick in any day now.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

E-Memory (Part Two)

Although the emails from my Ameri-girlfriend are much shorter, they’re also more entertaining. Reading through them this morning reminded me how much I loved her and all her quirks. And for those who know me, perhaps the excerpts below will help explain why I never really recovered from that relationship. Instead, I changed, adapted, grew legs and walked out of the ocean and onto dry land. Or maybe I’ve devolved and returned to the sea. Either way, below is an email she sent a month before we broke up, living in Pittsburgh while I treaded water in NH.

dinner was fine and it was just like college again as me and prithi watched two hours of mtv after dinner very close together. we had this huge couch in our apartment that fit four or five people and katie or kerry would come home and always ask prith and i what we were doing bc wed always be on one cushion together intently watching somethign stupid. also she reminded me of the day i spent roller skating around the house. the interesting part is that i video taped this. i had routines and i made everyone in my house watch it. it had no sound though. just he noise of me banging the skate against the floor at the end if each lap. i think this house is killing me i think i had a fever yesterday as i kept feeling very hot even though all the windows were open. i shall check my temperature today. prithi was pissed i brought no photo of you with me. and she was unsatisfied with my description of you. long carrot head.

Reading these emails helps me remember the little pleasures of my life, aspects that would have otherwise washed away after yet another night of closing down the bars. These e-memories provide insight to that other world in which I once lived, the world of love, companionship, familiar kisses and a familiar face each morning. I doubt I’ll live in this ocean forever, but for now, it’s become quite comfortable. These emails, however, serve as a lifeboat back to who I once was. I’m sure I’ll climb in someday and paddle back to land. Maybe my legs will have returned by then.