NoSalesTax

Two Elon alumni (2002) have pooled their talents to bring excitement and joy to your day. One is a classy woman who combines her Italian and feminine powers to influence men of all shapes and sizes. The other is a tall blond man who relies on wit and boyish good looks to impress women, especially when they're drunk. Join them in their epic pursuit of the phenomenon known as adulthood. NoSalesTax side effects may include addiction and abrupt laughter as colleagues look on in confused jealousy.

Friday, March 10, 2006

perfect pair

First, if anyone dare tell J-Mazz (per his last entry) that he is ugly or smelly, I will throw up on you.
Second- this idea of missing out on life when you find your soulmate and settle down is plain silly, J-Mazz. Life still throws a lot of things at you, drops bombs on you, presents well-manicured paths, shows hope and promise. You just get to do it with someone by your side. Or someone shoving your ass up the hill.
I chose having my ass shoved up a hill.

Safe Love

My friend Andre, a teen director at another YMCA, recently mentioned an event he helped plan for area teens, entitled Safe Love. It was obviously geared toward safe sex, but it got me thinking. Is there such a thing as safe love? Being in love requires the deconstruction of one’s walls, basically taking a chance by letting someone “behind the curtain.” This is very dangerous.

Economists often discuss risk/reward correlations. Explorers cannot discover new land w/out first losing sight of the shore. Love echoes these philosophies, as no relationship achieves greatness until both people fully trust each other. And with that trust comes excitement, intimacy, comfort and all the other wonderful things love brings. Of course, this also leaves people extremely vulnerable.

In Vegas, you can’t win big unless you bet big, and you can’t lose big unless you gamble a hefty sum. The same holds true for love. You can either place small wagers and enjoy the minor gains/losses, or you can go all in and ride the excitement. Just remember, love can enrich your life beyond monetary value. It can also fuck you up and leave you walking the streets wondering what happened to all your chips.

Safe love? It’s just another oxymoron in our everyday lives.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Words of Wisdom

In a conversation w/ my friend Liz: "I know she likes me. No one makes out w/ someone while sober unless they like that person or thinks they're really hot."

High School Cafeteria

I sat through a couple high school lunches today, hoping to attract teens to this weekend's teen forum, which I've spent a year planning. On a side note, if no one shows up to this thing, I will readily admit I don't understand teens. We're giving away a YMCA membership, Celtics tickets, and a video iPod. Free food and live music are also part of the event, plus a cool guest speaker and a chance for them to discuss sex/drugs/alcohol/self-esteem w/ college students in a parent-free environment. What more do teens want? As great as it'd be, the forum can't feature Ashton Kutcher or strippers. Anyway...

Watching the students inhale their lunches made me realize I'm really glad I'm no longer in high school. Witnessing the awkwardness and insecurities reminded me of how tough those four years can be, how hopeless life can seem sitting at the lunch table w/ people you don't really like, having the cool kids throw pencils at you while you bite into a lukewarm crater burger.

No, the aforementioned never happened to me, at least not all of it, but I remember how frustrating high school can be. I don't claim my life to be perfect, but I'm glad I'm no longer an angry, lanky kid w/ dyed black hair. I'm glad I've overcome my insecurities to become a confident twentysomething w/ (albeit small) muscles and my natural blond hair. I'm glad the best years of my life weren't in high school. After all, what doesn't kill you...

Question of the Day

Why is KFC, formerly KENTUCKY Fried Chicken, playing Sweet Home Alabama on its commercials?

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

A Single Story

Is this what it’s come to? Is this what I’ve become? I came into my office Mon. morning to discover a lawn display ad (think “For Sale” signs in front of houses) propped against my chair. The ad read, “Single? WalthamSingles.com” Yes, I laughed aloud, though I’ve yet to find out who left me the sign, which now stands next to my desk for all to see.

A lot’s happened since my year in AmeriCorps*NCCC. An admitted steroid user became California’s governor, an entire sport finally admitted it has a steroid problem, and Boston became the city of champions. My musical taste expanded beyond DMB and I started experimenting w/ my sideburns. Somewhere along the way, I changed from the guy most people assumed would be married at 25 to the guy most doubt will ever settle down.

How did this happen? I don’t have the answer, and I don’t need one. I’ve made some great friends since graduating AmeriCorps, and I’ve lived in some great cities, people and places I may have never known had I been in a relationship. You may think I’m antisocial, ugly and/or smelly―I’m not. I am, however, afraid of falling into a relationship.

Trading secrets and kisses doesn't scare me, nor does the potential for extreme pain and sadness. I’m weary of relationships for fear of what I could miss, all the hors d’oeuvres life presents, the characters and settings of my future history. To my friends who’ve already found a fellow protagonist, I congratulate you and offer my love and support. As for me, I’m content with my current plot. I’ve always loved choose-your-own-adventure books, anyway.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Today

Today was one of my favorite days of the year. No, the date has no significance. This was the first day of the year where I felt warm getting into my car, that toasty feeling of sitting in the driver's seat and feeling the sun licking my face, reminding me that winter is taking its last breaths.