Two Elon alumni (2002) have pooled their talents to bring excitement and joy to your day. One is a classy woman who combines her Italian and feminine powers to influence men of all shapes and sizes. The other is a tall blond man who relies on wit and boyish good looks to impress women, especially when they're drunk. Join them in their epic pursuit of the phenomenon known as adulthood. NoSalesTax side effects may include addiction and abrupt laughter as colleagues look on in confused jealousy.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Top-4 Current TV Shows

As I'm slowly realizing, ya gotta live for today and not wallow in the past. So w/ apologies to Seinfeld and Ed, two of the smartest, funniest and best written shows of my generation, I reveal to the world my four favorite TV shows that haven't ended or been canceled.

4) The O.C.
Chappelle's Show didn't make this cut because its future is very much in doubt since Dave's recent drug rehab somewhere in Zimbabwe. The O.C. takes its place on this monumental list. Why does a twentysomething heterosexual male such as myself enjoy this show? Good question. After listening to a colleague (L-Beezy) rave about it at work a couple years ago, I figured I'd check it out to see what the hype was about. Plus, I needed something to talk about w/ my colleagues since they all hated me my first couple months of work. I first experienced The O.C. midway through its inaugural season and was immediately hooked. The acting was awful and the writing was even worse. The clincher featured Ryan and Marissa, who were dating, standing on a boardwalk.

Ryan: You know what we haven't done in a while?
Marissa: No, what?

CUE THE MAKE-OUT SCENE! Even Saved by the Bell didn't deliver lines this cheesy. The unintentional comedy was priceless, and I found myself rushing home to catch it every Wed. nite. Two-and-a-half years into the show, the writing has drastically improved and the acting has gotten much better (except for Marissa, played by Mischa Barton). The fact every female (esp. Summer) is hot only makes the hour better.

3) Maximum Extreme Challenge (MXC)
Maybe I love it so much because I discovered it after a heavy nite of drinking in DC, or maybe I enjoy it because contestants endure severe amounts of pain throughout the half hour. This ingenious program combines American Gladiators w/ The Iron Chef. I won't divulge any more info, but be sure to check it out, esp. if you've been drinking.

2) MTV's The Gauntlet/The Inferno
It's ridiculous how addictive these shows are. If I'm flipping channels and come across a past Real World star wearing yellow feathers and vomiting after stuffing his/her face w/ worms, I will not change the channel. If it's a girl and she's wearing something very revealing, it makes the deal even sweeter. And if Kendall happens to be part of the cast, I always cancel my appointments, turn off my phone and just focus. Ahhhhhhhh, sweet Kendall.

1) Rescue Me
The stuff this show gets away w/ is ridiculous. When did the bigwigs at F/X decide to push the envelope every week w/ every show? One week after Denis Leary's character has his g/f's legs around his head, another character on the show gets ridden like a 10-speed bicycle by a girl double his weight. Lesbian fights, vicious custody battles and alcohol-withdrawal Jesus hallucinations help make this show unforgettable. The tightly written, multi-story plots mixed w/ Leary's blunt humor create the greatest show on TV.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Question of the Day

If a girl tells a guy she doesn't date people she works with, is it true? Or is it just another rejection to add to the stories? I should mention we work in different departments, and she's only in three days/week.

I've been telling people I asked out a girl yesterday. After a pause, I say, "She said no." Then people laugh. "Love: It's a motherf*cker." -- the waiter in Old School.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Question of the Day

What's the nicest thing you've ever done? What's the meanest?