Two Elon alumni (2002) have pooled their talents to bring excitement and joy to your day. One is a classy woman who combines her Italian and feminine powers to influence men of all shapes and sizes. The other is a tall blond man who relies on wit and boyish good looks to impress women, especially when they're drunk. Join them in their epic pursuit of the phenomenon known as adulthood. NoSalesTax side effects may include addiction and abrupt laughter as colleagues look on in confused jealousy.

Monday, May 01, 2006

First Time for Everything

Last Monday, as I was driving to work on after an exhausting weekend of training in upstate New York, some genius in a black Infiniti elected to crash into my car, resulting in my first head-on collision. Ya know when you're driving and a car heading in the other direction is stopped, waiting to turn left across your lane? If you're a normal person (which is yet to be determined), you quickly glance at the stopped car before cruising by. I followed protocol, but apparently Razmig Panohdio;day7dnb missed the memo and opted to fire up his car's rocket thrusters and sneak by me as I continued my 30-mph clip. Unfortunately for me, Razmig's rocket thrusters failed to fire, resulting in his Infiniti basically devouring my Toyota Corolla.

As I slammed on the brakes and veered to the right, my brain kept repeating, “Are you effin kidding me?” His sheer stupidity was baffling, leaving me at the mercy of our cars. It was one of those unsettling feelings you get when you know something bad is happening and you can do nothing to stop it, like taking home a friend who’s had a crush on you forever You know you’re gonna hook up w/ her, but you shouldn’t because you don’t want to date her. At this point, however, the booze and your balls have combined to overpower common sense, leaving you helpless to a night of fun followed by weeks (or months) of awkwardness.

So anyway, I’ve spent the past 10 days dealing w/ his insurance company, making sure I get enough money to fix my car. I know my first head-on collision is a poor excuse for not blogging, but that’s what I’m going with. Just be happy I'm alive.


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