Two Elon alumni (2002) have pooled their talents to bring excitement and joy to your day. One is a classy woman who combines her Italian and feminine powers to influence men of all shapes and sizes. The other is a tall blond man who relies on wit and boyish good looks to impress women, especially when they're drunk. Join them in their epic pursuit of the phenomenon known as adulthood. NoSalesTax side effects may include addiction and abrupt laughter as colleagues look on in confused jealousy.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

High School Cafeteria

I sat through a couple high school lunches today, hoping to attract teens to this weekend's teen forum, which I've spent a year planning. On a side note, if no one shows up to this thing, I will readily admit I don't understand teens. We're giving away a YMCA membership, Celtics tickets, and a video iPod. Free food and live music are also part of the event, plus a cool guest speaker and a chance for them to discuss sex/drugs/alcohol/self-esteem w/ college students in a parent-free environment. What more do teens want? As great as it'd be, the forum can't feature Ashton Kutcher or strippers. Anyway...

Watching the students inhale their lunches made me realize I'm really glad I'm no longer in high school. Witnessing the awkwardness and insecurities reminded me of how tough those four years can be, how hopeless life can seem sitting at the lunch table w/ people you don't really like, having the cool kids throw pencils at you while you bite into a lukewarm crater burger.

No, the aforementioned never happened to me, at least not all of it, but I remember how frustrating high school can be. I don't claim my life to be perfect, but I'm glad I'm no longer an angry, lanky kid w/ dyed black hair. I'm glad I've overcome my insecurities to become a confident twentysomething w/ (albeit small) muscles and my natural blond hair. I'm glad the best years of my life weren't in high school. After all, what doesn't kill you...


At 11:29 AM, Blogger Balto17 said...

I don't know. I enjoyed high school. But maybe it was because I was a friggin' BMOC. I was one of the coolest kids ever. (And by the way, just declaring yourself one of the coolest kids ever makes you extra-super-cool. Dig it.)

At 2:51 PM, Anonymous JB said...

J-Mazz... I consider myself your partner in crime from KHS. Whether you think the same of me or not, I don't know. I think about those 4 years a lot, as well... but fondly. Yeah, it was awkward. Acne was fun. Dan Moylan was a great pal. All the girls wanted us. Rememeber trying to decide which/how many hot girls to take to prom? Man, that was tough... and fun!

Anyway, those are all lies... but I met and/or furthered relationships with my closest friends while I was there. So for me the awkwardness (which I'm conviced is tougher for us 6-footers, when I think awkward, I think Stanley) is a price I'm willing to pay in retrospect. I think more about you guys than I do about being picked on by Matt Smith or Brian Palmer. Also, we don't have the regret of having had sex with chicks who probably all have genital warts right now. So we got that goin' for us...

(My apologies to all who read this who have genital warts.)

At 5:06 PM, Blogger J-Mazz said...


Yes, we were the Mikey and Trent of HS, minus all the women. So maybe we were more like Balki and Cousin Larry. Either way, we made the most of it.


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