NoSalesTax

Two Elon alumni (2002) have pooled their talents to bring excitement and joy to your day. One is a classy woman who combines her Italian and feminine powers to influence men of all shapes and sizes. The other is a tall blond man who relies on wit and boyish good looks to impress women, especially when they're drunk. Join them in their epic pursuit of the phenomenon known as adulthood. NoSalesTax side effects may include addiction and abrupt laughter as colleagues look on in confused jealousy.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Things I Suck At

Around Thanksgiving, I fell into a reflective mindset and blogged about what I do well. Now that it's a windy, rainy mid-winter day in Boston, I'm ready to discuss what I do poorly.

Multi-tasking- My boss said I have the opposite of ADD, in that I focus solely on one project and totally neglect everything else. This has occurred since I was a child, when I'd refuse to eat dinner until I'd finished constructing my latest lego spaceship. I don't think being focused on one task is always a bad thing, unless you're hooking up w/ two girls at the same time.

Snapping My Fingers- I can't do it, OK? Next!

Bagging Groceries- While at Trader Joe's the other day, I realized my bagging skills are atrocious. I always put too much in one bag, forget to double bag, or put eggs on the bottom. I tend to get very disoriented whenever I'm in a large store or different country. I'm really good at keeping raw meat separate from other groceries, though. E. Coli can be a bitch.

Reading Signals- No, I'm not talking about air traffic control. Seriously, I need a girl to flat-out tell me, "No, I'm not interested in you" or "You're too tall and I think you smell funny." Ladies, please understand most men would much prefer you to say, "I'm just not into you."

3 Comments:

At 8:17 AM, Anonymous JB said...

I disagree about you not being able to multi-task. During our days of running the courts at the Y, many of our peers often noted at your amazing ability to dribble a basketball with one hand and point your finger with the other. Dazzling.

 
At 4:21 PM, Blogger J-Mazz said...

I'd point my finger? At whom/what? All the pretty girls watching from the metal folding chairs?

 
At 11:49 PM, Anonymous JB said...

Well Wiggins was spoken for, so that rules out pointing it at women. I always told people you were pointing in the direction you were going to go with the ball. That's why your crossover works so well.

 

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