Two Elon alumni (2002) have pooled their talents to bring excitement and joy to your day. One is a classy woman who combines her Italian and feminine powers to influence men of all shapes and sizes. The other is a tall blond man who relies on wit and boyish good looks to impress women, especially when they're drunk. Join them in their epic pursuit of the phenomenon known as adulthood. NoSalesTax side effects may include addiction and abrupt laughter as colleagues look on in confused jealousy.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

A Weekend in DC (Part One)

Don’t fly w/ me. Every two or three trips I find time to take, I end up on a plane listening to some woman telling me this has been her worst flying experience ever. Sunday was just another chapter in my book, which could be called Hell Has Wings or The Frustration and Helplessness of American Air Travel Summed Up in 50,000 Words and a Barf Bag. Before I begin detailing the day’s events, I should let you know I flew down to DC for a long weekend of drinking w/ friends. I was scheduled to leave Boston Thurs. at 420pm. I was disappointed to learn the flight attendants would not be passing out joints w/ our peanuts and drinks. I was also disappointed to hear the pilot announce we’d be delayed due to t-storms in the DC area. I dozed off at 430pm, minutes after his announcement. I awoke 45 min. later, quite sweaty and confused upon seeing Logan Airport through the window. Another hour and a half passed before the plane said goodbye to the runway, arriving in Virginia (Dulles) at 815pm, far too late for me to take advantage of DC’s happy hour drink specials.

After a $3 bus ride and a half hour on the Metro, I arrived at my friend Beezy’s house in Cleveland Park to drop off my bag and shower (I’d forgotten how miserable DC humidity can be). Beezy was already at the bar, so she left me a key. I finally arrived at TomTom a lil before 11pm and immediately swallowed three shots. Seriously, I felt like George Bailey throwing back shots at Martini’s after yelling at his family and crashing his car on Christmas Eve. The rest of the night was good, and ended at Pizza Mart, as always. Foolishly, Beezy and OOB thought one slice would be enough for them to share. Being the Pizza Mart expert, I knew they would want more (drunk people always do). Luckily, or unluckily, a previous patron had left a half-eaten slice on a countertop. My two friends devoured it, and probably would have devoured me had I been wearing cheese and grease. Not even David Blaine could have made 1,300 calories disappear so quickly.

Part Two coming soon.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Most Blogs Like it on Top

It’s been quite some time since I’ve written. In case you’ve forgotten, I possess the Y-chromosome in this blogging duo. I could list a litany of excuses explaining my absence the past month or two, but I won’t. Instead, I’ll explain the delicate relationship between weblogs and people. Just like any relationship, things start off hot and heavy, usually doing it at least four times a week, sometimes more. I’ve been known to do it several times a day the first few weeks. Most folks are so excited about their new relationship, they tell their friends all about it. Some reveal subtle clues, while others divulge every detail. I emailed everyone I know when I started my first blog, East Office. You never forget your first blog.

But like all relationships, the novelty eventually washed away. Like all relationships, it ended. I’ve been with this blog since December, and have very few complaints. Sure, T-Rock mentions her engagement a bit too much. And the blog isn’t pulling in as many comments as it once did. But so what? No relationship is perfect. They all require a bit of work, patience and spontaneity. That’s why you needn’t be alarmed by my prolonged absences. I’m never far from No Sales Tax, even when I’m insanely busy with the first year of my YMCA career. All my colleagues say the first year is always the toughest. Kind of like marriage, eh T-Rock?