NoSalesTax

Two Elon alumni (2002) have pooled their talents to bring excitement and joy to your day. One is a classy woman who combines her Italian and feminine powers to influence men of all shapes and sizes. The other is a tall blond man who relies on wit and boyish good looks to impress women, especially when they're drunk. Join them in their epic pursuit of the phenomenon known as adulthood. NoSalesTax side effects may include addiction and abrupt laughter as colleagues look on in confused jealousy.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

more pet peeves

You know the plastic silverware you get when you order out or you eat at a real cheap restaurant? I’m really picky about it. Maybe you are, too.
I hate the real small stuff, or the stuff that bends when you try to cut something. Forks that don’t have long prongs are totally useless to me. I need something of substance.
Sporks are my worst enemy. They are useless and weird and hardly let you spear anything. And they don’t catch enough soup to be useful, either. Maybe they are good in theory but useless in practice.
Note to all Chinese food restaurants and various deli’s: Spend the extra money to get decent utensils. Give me something to work with. This small bendy shit doesn’t cut it.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

My Weekend w/ Youth & Government

I spent Thurs, Fri. and Sat. at a Youth & Gov’t. conference in downtown Boston last week. Apparently I’m an advisor for a nearby high school’s delegation. After meeting the delegation (one junior, one sophomore, one frosh) on Monday, I was assigned to be the adult solely responsible for them later that week. Hmmmm. Thursday was spent in the statehouse; I sat in on several committees as they listened to their peers present bills ranging from using the death penalty for rapists to requiring every Mass. public school to have an AED on hand in case of someone undergoing cardiac arrest. There was even a bill calling for the Commonwealth (the state) to secede from the US, which actually passed into law. Others did not.

Now that you know a lil about Y&G, I can dig into the meat of this post. One of my delegates, let’s call him Roger (not his real name), is all about Y&G. His teacher told me he’s been doing it since his frosh year (now a junior), and he takes it very seriously. I don’t know Roger very well, but he’s a bit odd. He has a nervous tic, gets flustered when he tries to get his point across, and even talks to himself as he walks aimlessly. He was also chosen to serve on the prestigious committee at this year’s conference, which he was very excited about. The kid is brilliant, so smart it’s almost scary. Unfortunately, all his intellectual strengths are matched by his social weaknesses. The kid is weird, and everyone at the conference knew it. Remember that kid when you were in HS, the one who was different from everyone else, thus everyone knew him and teased him? That’s Roger. The scary thing is his teacher told me he’s “come a long way” since his frosh year, which makes me wonder what he was like two years ago. His parents are apparently weird, too, which doesn’t help.

A dance was held Friday nite to celebrate the last nite of the conference. I was disappointed to see my three delegates spend most of the nite in the “quiet room” interacting w/ very few people. The girls in my delegation are a bit antisocial, as well, though they don’t stand out as like Roger. They stick together, which is good, leaving Roger by himself most times. Later that nite, as I was climbing into bed, there was a knock on my hotel room door. It was another advisor, saying there was a situation w/ Roger. Although it was 1230am, I immediately lost my grogginess and became concerned I’d have to reprimand him for misbehaving. I barely know the kid! Then she told me the situation. Apparently another delegate told an advisor he was concerned Roger would kill himself that nite. It stemmed from a comment he made earlier in the day about finding him dead the next morning.

After discussing the situation w/ a few other advisors, we decided one of them and I would confront Roger in his room. We found him in the bathroom, shaking and writing fervently on a notepad. It was scary. We got him to come out of the bathroom, and then spoke w/ him, asked him if anything was bothering him, etc. The way he told us everything we wanted to hear was even scarier. We left after five min., but not before I noticed his phone was off the hook. He picked it up, said hello in the receiver, asked if anyone was there, then hung it up. It was so weird.

I met w/ the other advisors again, and we decided to call his parents (at 130am). There was no history on his medical form, but they informed us he’d been on antidepressants and once admitted to a psychiatric hospital. I was officially worried. Staying on the 18th floor (w/ a balcony in each room) did nothing to ease my concern. After we spoke w/ Roger’s parents, we returned to Roger’s room and watched as he spoke to his parents. His agitation w/ their conversation was disheartening. When he was finished, the head advisor spoke w/ his parents, who confirmed they were no longer worried after speaking w/ him. We advisors went to bed for four hours of sleep before the next morning’s meeting.

The next day, as I wrestled w/ everything that’d transpired the nite before, I realized just how awkward Roger is around others. Each time he stood to argue his point, a chuckle swept across the room, emanating from both other students and advisors. I also learned from another advisor that the nite before, other kids had been calling Roger's room and telling him he was gonna go crazy, he was losing his mind, etc.

Observing this boy for just a few days, it was heartbreaking just how difficult his life must be. It made me remember those awkward kids when I was in HS, and how I’m sure I didn’t do much to make their lives easier. Thinking of all the challenges Roger has yet to face (college, dating, co-workers) forced me to appreciate all that I have. Granted, I have very few friends here in my new town of Boston, I’m approaching priesthood when it comes to dating, and my personality is a bit too much for some people. But at least I’m accepted for who I am. I wonder if Roger will ever know what that’s like.

Question

Is it considered picking your nose if you use a tissue?

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Rocky...but this time it's real!

Or at least...reality TV.
I’m hooked. It took 1.5 hours and it was enough…. I. am. hooked.

If you didn’t watch The Contender, please watch it this Thursday on NBC. Or you can catch it on it's regularly scheduled night- Sunday.

What I like about this show, besides the fact that it is hosted by Sylvester Stallone, is that it shows the extremely emotional side of boxing, while at the same time keeping the competition very fair. If you don’t box well, you lose. If you lose, you are off the show.

Last night I watch Peter Manfredo lose a fight to an underdog. I wanted Peter to win so bad, for his daughter and his wife. They were too cute. The drama is all over this show, people!!! Watch it!!!

Is it just me or does Sly look extremely awesome for being in his late fifties?

Monday, March 07, 2005

Top-4 T-shirts

T-Rock's Tshirt post last week got me thinking of how many cool Tshirts I own. Now, perhaps a definition of "cool Tshirts" is required for this post. So here goes. A cool Tshirt is:

rare (this excludes anything made for mass production)
a conversation starter
something that holds sentimental value
worn-in (doesn't look new)
invaluable

Now that we're clear, here's my top-4, which was unbelievably difficult to finalize. I've listed them by what they say on the front/back.

4. Joseph Backof's MAGNIFICENT ERECTIONS
This was given to me by one of my AmeriCorps brothers, known as the White Bison. His dad constructs gas stations. His dad's company's name? That's right, Magnificent Erections. This shirt gets bonus points for being bright orange w/ black print.

3. Princess

This maroon shirt w/ writing on the left pec was a gift from a girl I once loved. You know how random things remind you of people from your past? This is one of those things. HUGE sentimental value points.

2. Crew 32

This navy shirt w/ red writing stems from my summer of fighting fires in the Eldorado. On the back, in huge capital letters, it says "FIRE" and some other stuff underneath (I can't remember cuz, well, it's on the back, making it tough for me to read).

1. Multiple Orgasm Donor

No explanation needed.

what makes love

I made a new best friend about a year and a half ago. It started out simple with movies and hikes and food….because we both like to eat a LOT.

I moved to DC with my best friend, and I wasn’t looking to replace her. But this new best friend doesn’t replace, rather simply fits and works and has managed to become the biggest thing in my life.

I never really understood how a boyfriend could become a best friend. I don’t care about being cool around my best friend. Sometimes I cry and puke and laugh and even snore around my best friend. Are these things I want to do around my boyfriend? Can every day people be the people we love? Yes.

This weekend my new best friend and I made sushi together. You want to test a relationship? Make sushi. Make something in the kitchen that takes heat and sharp knives and timing and raw fish and a whole 2 hours….and then honestly be able to tell each other it didn’t turn out so well. Not the way you had hoped.

It’s honesty and vulnerability and every day upsets that make love. It’s real friendship that makes love. It’s raw fish.