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Wednesday, October 12, 2005

My Hometown Newspaper

After last weekend's flooding in my hometown of Keene, NH, I thought I'd check out the Keene Sentinel's webpage for some local news. I was treated to a hearty laugh after reading this week's online poll and choices. Enjoy...

On Wednesday night, 150 residents gathered to discuss future improvements to Keene's downtown. Sentinel staffers have come up with a list of six improvements they'd like to see in the next 20 years but we need your input to help us pick three. We'll publish your top three choices in a coming issue of The Sentinel.

___ Cheesecake Factory

___ River Walk

___ Monorail

___ Space Needle

___ Teen Center

___ More Pizza Joints

Side note: Keep in mind Keene boasts 20,000 residents (25k when college is in session). How anyone can lump pizza and The Cheesecake Factory w/ a Monorail and Space Needle is beyond me. That's like asking a high school junior if he'd rather have sex with the cute girl in his math class or Jessica Simpson.


At 1:35 AM, Blogger Balto17 said...

That's like asking a professional athlete if he'd like to compete at the highest level of his sport or whip the shit out of kids at the Special Olympics. That's like asking a professional athlete if he'd like to take a boat ride, or take a boat ride and receive sexual favors. What, what, Fred Smoot!

OK, so it's like neither of those things. But that list was pretty humorous. A space needled or a monorail? What is this, New England Disney? Open the two months a year you won't freeze your ass off. Well, whatever takes the flak off of Euro Disney, the happiest place on Earth for freedom haters.

At 11:30 AM, Blogger Gregg M. Schmidt said...

HaHa...maybe at the top of the needle they can have a Cheesecake Factory...and on the monorail they can sell pizza?

Funny stuff.

My question, since Balto17 made me think of it, will your hometown have the boat rides like the Minnesota Vikings have...? If so, I'm your new neighbor!

At 4:20 PM, Anonymous JB said...

Being a former citizen of the Crapcake Factory known as Keene...

I must express my disappointment with the commitee in charge of coming up with the list of options. Why, I ask, why can't we have our cake and eat it too? They already have a river that you can walk next to, so screw that. Besides the last thing we need to see on CNN is some little kid's abandoned tricycle after the next flood. The space needle is a fantastic idea, so I'm all for that. There aren't enough space needles in Keene. "Daffy's at the Ashuelot River Space Needle" has a nice ring to it. If I recall Daffy's served pizza in its heyday. So right there four options are covered.

As far as the monorail, well we all know what happened to the fair citizens of Springfield (Simpons) when they got a monorail. Cats and dogs living together... mass hysteria.

And the Cheesecake Factory can suck my balls.


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