Two Elon alumni (2002) have pooled their talents to bring excitement and joy to your day. One is a classy woman who combines her Italian and feminine powers to influence men of all shapes and sizes. The other is a tall blond man who relies on wit and boyish good looks to impress women, especially when they're drunk. Join them in their epic pursuit of the phenomenon known as adulthood. NoSalesTax side effects may include addiction and abrupt laughter as colleagues look on in confused jealousy.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Beer Money

Before I begin, understand that I’m sitting at my boss’ desk at 7pm on a Friday, wearing black coveralls and a long black wig. No, I don’t have a date tonight. I’m actually the star attraction of the haunted hallway at the annual YMCA Halloween Extravaganza. Every 10 min., my boss comes by w/ the latest tour group and opens the door. I flip on some scary Pink Floyd song and turn in the swivel chair to face the kids, the computer screen’s glow the only light in the room, illuminating my face. Then I stand up and scream, throwing my hands up and begin walking toward them w/ outstretched hands. Granted, it’s no gorilla suit running through T-Rock’s party, but I’ve definitely made a few kids cry tonight. Yes, I am the camp director.

So I made 75 bucks on Wed. just by telling people what I think. I’ve always known my opinions are worth something, but I never thought it was $50/hr. K-Man forwarded me an email looking for men ages 23-29 to take part in a focus group. Other than age, the only prerequisite was a love for beer. Holy smokes, that’s me!

For an hour and a half, I sat w/ seven other guys and discussed Sam Adams beer as a very cute woman prompted us with questions. Behind her was a mirror that spanned the wall. She was sure to inform us before we began that her colleagues would be watching us from behind the double-sided glass. We were also being videotaped. I thought about picking my nose and listening for laughter from behind the glass, but worried I wouldn’t get my money if I did.

I instead offered my opinions on radio ads and packaging for six-packs. The other guys were somewhat creative, but I definitely got some looks when I went off on tangents about redesigning the entire box. The marketing girl was definitely turned on when I suggested keeping the basement scene for Sam Adams Light, but illuminating “Sam Adams Light” with a basement light.

At the end, she asked me for my email address, to which I obliged. OK, so she asked everyone for their email address, but I think she was just being nice to the rest. I also made $75 for eating free sandwiches and sharing my thoughts on beer. Not too shabby for a Wed. afternoon. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go scare some more kids.


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