NoSalesTax

Two Elon alumni (2002) have pooled their talents to bring excitement and joy to your day. One is a classy woman who combines her Italian and feminine powers to influence men of all shapes and sizes. The other is a tall blond man who relies on wit and boyish good looks to impress women, especially when they're drunk. Join them in their epic pursuit of the phenomenon known as adulthood. NoSalesTax side effects may include addiction and abrupt laughter as colleagues look on in confused jealousy.

Monday, October 24, 2005

And my mime costume didn't even make the list...

We carved a pumpkin and it rotted…I toasted pumpkin seeds and it gave the Greggster a stomach ache….and now the idea of nothing to do on Halloween is making me sad….so today I will reminisce about great costumes from the past.
1. Lady Smurf
Talk about great parents…I had blue makeup and an adorable little white dress. The perfect costume for me because yes, I am a lady. A classy lady. A smurf lady.
2. Two headed lady
One year I told my parents I wanted to make my own costume without their help, so I used this fake head my mom brought home from her art studio and attached it to a pole and a harness, which I slung over my shoulder and carried for an excruciating 3 hours. Towards the end of the night I took the head and the harness off, and walked around in what was leftover- a black shirt and pants. I can’t really remember what I said I was at that point. Maybe I should have exposed the giant bruise the fake head and harness made on my shoulder. At least them I would’ve looked like a battered woman or crash test dummy.
3. Morticia Adams.
I’d repeat this one given the option. A few friends of mine wanted a theme, so we picked the Adams Family…we had a Pugsley, Flora and Fauna, Morticia, Cousin It and Grandma. My dad wasn’t too keen on the idea of letting us roam around the neighborhood by ourselves, so he dressed up as Lurch. He was a good sport. He even did the groaning noises all night. I’m lucky to have this kind of a dad.
4. Red m&m
My mom used a hoola hoop to construct a giant red m&m. I wore a red mask and painted my hair red and looked absolutely adorable. I think I won a prize that year.
5. Heidi Fleiss
Two years ago my roomie and I racked our brain to come up with flirty, funny costumes. We raided our neighbor’s closets, toyed with the idea on naughty schoolgirls, but couldn’t settle into one thing. Then we remember- I had a hot black suit and she had a horrible fur coat….So we were Heidi and a hooker. This was a serious crowd pleaser.
6. Dirty Girl Scout
In another attempt to be sexy, I decided I’d be everyone’s favorite alcoholic beverage. I used my sister’s old Girl Scout costume, a short tight skirt and knee high boots. Unfortunately I saw about 10 other girl scouts that night….but they were just slutty girl scouts. I had an edge because mine was actually the name of a shot. You see how much smarter I am than other people? I really have that going for me.
7. Miss North Carolina
Remember the scandal a few years ago that involved a certain Miss Carolina, certain ex boyfriend and certain naughty pictures that were taken “without her knowledge”? I was working at a bar that year and the other hostess and I both dressed up as Miss North Carolina…the naughty one and the one who took over her crown…We told people if they could guess which was which, they could see the nude pictures that were taken. No one answered correctly. Can you imagine?
8. Snow White
In an attempt to not be sexy, but rather stay warm and not embarrass myself, seven college friends and I painted t shirts and quite easily became Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. We even had little dwarf hats for them, and I wore a red ribbon. We got a lot of compliments that year, mostly from drunk girls who were freezing cold in their mini skirts and tank tops. Losers.
9. Lydia from the movie Beetle juice
Totally obscure but great costume…by the end of the night I told people I was a witch, just so I didn’t have to explain it anymore. Some people have no imagination.
10. Supportive Girlfriend
Last year, the Marine Corps Marathon was on Halloween, so instead of wearing a costume, I wore a water bottle, a fanny pack and a camera, and trudged along the marathon course with my future mother in law, cheering on our men, taking pictures, and drinking free samples of Michelob Light. Oh, and gagging about all the bloody nipples we saw. I’m not kidding.
11. A Princess
Most girls have been princesses at some point in their lives, right? My mom was working at a costume and art studio at the time, and got a hold of this incredible white and gold medieval princess costume for me. It was beaded and totally over the top, a dress fit for a real princess. I however, felt like it needed something….so I wore a green metallic wig, just to really drive home the point that my childhood and imagination were really out of the ordinary. I think my brother was a bull matador that year. Who ARE we????

1 Comments:

At 2:42 PM, Blogger Balto17 said...

When I was in St. Louis last year, I saw a whole mess of people in a great themed costume. Two people were prison guards, and the rest were Abu Ghraib prisoners. They walked around all night as a chain gang. Pretty clever, if you ask me.

And T-Rock, why wasn't I invited to your sexy Halloween evenings of debauchery? I feel so left out. Tears.

 

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