NoSalesTax

Two Elon alumni (2002) have pooled their talents to bring excitement and joy to your day. One is a classy woman who combines her Italian and feminine powers to influence men of all shapes and sizes. The other is a tall blond man who relies on wit and boyish good looks to impress women, especially when they're drunk. Join them in their epic pursuit of the phenomenon known as adulthood. NoSalesTax side effects may include addiction and abrupt laughter as colleagues look on in confused jealousy.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Don't mess with my babies...It'll only get you karate-chopped.

When friends tell stories about their dogs, I usually chime in with stories about my fish. Then I get dirty looks. People don’t think the two are comparable.
To those people I say, up yours. Fish and pups have a lot in common. They both:
-like water
-die
- poop a lot
-sometimes the poop is one place, sometimes the poop gets everywhere
-need to be fed
-can’t be left alone for the weekend
-bite
-play
-have names.
Can fish be contained in a tank? Yes. Can dogs? Not unless they are little frou frou, Jessica Simpson dogs, in which case they really aren’t dogs at all, but rather rats. If I had a big house with a yard and a fence might I have a dog? Yes. Should you think I’m silly for loving my fish and keeping them as pets? No. So anyone that wants to pick on me, I say, screw you. Leave me and my fish alone. You are probably the same people that will have children before any of your friends, and then act like everyone else is silly for not having kids. Like, it will define your existence and make everyone less significant and non-contributing members of society. You make me sick! (written with look of disdain on my face)

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