NoSalesTax

Two Elon alumni (2002) have pooled their talents to bring excitement and joy to your day. One is a classy woman who combines her Italian and feminine powers to influence men of all shapes and sizes. The other is a tall blond man who relies on wit and boyish good looks to impress women, especially when they're drunk. Join them in their epic pursuit of the phenomenon known as adulthood. NoSalesTax side effects may include addiction and abrupt laughter as colleagues look on in confused jealousy.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

My Favorite Movie is Swingers

In the past week I’ve had two friends get engaged and another break up w/ his live-in g/f. It’s moments like these I can appreciate the simplicity of being single, unattached, unclaimed, or whatever else one considers people who don’t get to enjoy physical touch on a regular basis. Granted, there certainly are aspects to a relationship that could be classified as “great.” I won’t list them here.

Being single, or “between relationships,” has its perks. Let’s use me as an example. For starters, I get plenty of sleep every night. A good night's rest is the second-best thing to do in bed. I also get to travel wherever I want, whenever I want. I’m spending the second week of May traveling all over California and Arizona. I’m flying to Denver in July, DC in September and Key West in November. I would not be able to afford these vacations if I had a g/f.

It’s a simple fact. I’m not the type of guy who insists on paying for everything. Actually, I often am that guy early in a relationship. My past g/fs have been pretty good at identifying my “going-broke point” and have offered to pay for things when I run out of money. I’m getting off track here. As Mark McGwire would say, leave the past behind, what’s done is done, my past steroid use has caused an increase in my body’s estrogen level, which is why I cry at Congressional hearings, blah blah blah.

My point is people spend more money in relationships for a number of reasons, one of which is people go out a lot when they’re dating, especially early in the relationship. It’s no wonder some still call it “going out.” I always liked saying “going steady.” It conjures up images of a boat pushing its way through an icy harbor. Isn’t that what relationships come down to anyway?

A clear head is another plus to living la vida solo. Gone are nights of lying awake in bed, wondering what will transpire after the latest argument with a woman I love. These days I dump my thoughts on paper (blog entries, poetry, journal writing) before checking into dreamland each night. I sometimes read in bed, or listen to music. I’d like to start an art project, but I can’t find any good coloring books. Regardless, my head is void of worry, my body practically stress-free. Maybe that’s why so many couples are always giving each other massages. They’re too tense.

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