Two Elon alumni (2002) have pooled their talents to bring excitement and joy to your day. One is a classy woman who combines her Italian and feminine powers to influence men of all shapes and sizes. The other is a tall blond man who relies on wit and boyish good looks to impress women, especially when they're drunk. Join them in their epic pursuit of the phenomenon known as adulthood. NoSalesTax side effects may include addiction and abrupt laughter as colleagues look on in confused jealousy.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Email of the Week

What w/ the clocks jumping an hour ahead and me being 25 now, I thought today would be the perfect time to unveil the newest installment to the greenest blog you know. I'm sure you receive dozens of emails each week, if not each day. "Thus spawned the title of this program." -- A Tribe Called Quest. Behold, the first ever (pause for effect) Email of the Week. This week's winning entry was sent by one of my friends from home. You've heard stories about him in past posts, including my New Year's recap. We all got together last weekend to celebrate his birthday. I don't remember much after leaving for the bar, other than flaunting my food stamps at the convenience store and getting lost in an alley on my walk home. I received this email two days later:

I meant to call you Saturday nite to make sure you got home okay but I guess I passed out. That was fucking manly downing that whiskey. Maybe that gives you a little insight into what I was going through on New Year's. You should also be very proud of yourself for talking to the two hottest girls in the bar. Two fucking smoking brunnettes. I am pretty sure they went home and masturbated while thinking of you.

Oh and I hope you remember karate kicking the newspaper box in front of the police station while we were all holding open containers. Nice. Much thanks for a thoroughly enjoyable birthday celebration, a hilarious card, and some tasty whiskey.


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