Two Elon alumni (2002) have pooled their talents to bring excitement and joy to your day. One is a classy woman who combines her Italian and feminine powers to influence men of all shapes and sizes. The other is a tall blond man who relies on wit and boyish good looks to impress women, especially when they're drunk. Join them in their epic pursuit of the phenomenon known as adulthood. NoSalesTax side effects may include addiction and abrupt laughter as colleagues look on in confused jealousy.

Friday, March 04, 2005

What to do when youre all out of eggs?

Substitute with egg whites. (Because apparently Betty Crocker finds it reasonable that if you dont have whole eggs, you might have egg whites lying around)

I was just sitting there, at the desk touching my ear, sorta playing with my hair and I felt something hit my knee. My pearl earring fell out. Of course, the back was gone. I reached into my top desk drawer and pulled out an eraser. I broke a corner off, and as I replaced the earring in my ear, I attached the eraser to the back of it. Viola! Instant earring back.
I started thinking about all the things in life we use for substitutes. There’s things like erasers for earring backs, frozen vegetables for an ice pack, and stuffing tissues in your bra for boobs (have to thank God that I’ve never had to do that…)

We often use substitutes in life. Scientists say humans can substitute the feeling of love or satisfaction one gets from another person, with chocolate. I suppose this is different than using an eraser as an earring back. Sometimes people use alcohol as a mind eraser- that’s a substitute for….sanity? Actually scratch that. Using alcohol as a mind eraser is not a substitution, it is a solution.

A co-worker came into my office today and told me about a friend of hers, who is in a relationship, but talked to her more than he talks to his actual girlfriend. The girlfriend is apparently not so bright, and this guy finds her more entertaining, intelligent, he probably finds he can relate to her better and that she is a good listener.

Is he using her as a substitute? I think yes. I think when you are in a relationship, you should expect, or at least try to give the other person the opportunity to be a complete package. If you cant get what you need from a significant other, you look elsewhere. That’s where trouble starts.

So yeah, life gives us the opportunity to put in pinch hitters quite often.


At 4:24 PM, Blogger J-Mazz said...

That would explain why I've been eating a lotta chocolate the past year and a half. Especially dark chocolate. Mmmmmmm.


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