NoSalesTax

Two Elon alumni (2002) have pooled their talents to bring excitement and joy to your day. One is a classy woman who combines her Italian and feminine powers to influence men of all shapes and sizes. The other is a tall blond man who relies on wit and boyish good looks to impress women, especially when they're drunk. Join them in their epic pursuit of the phenomenon known as adulthood. NoSalesTax side effects may include addiction and abrupt laughter as colleagues look on in confused jealousy.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Weekend in DC (Part One)

My trip began Friday at 4pm when I hopped on the T en route to Government Center. I found a standing spot near the doors on the left side (doors only open on the right until you get downtown) and began thinking about my next DC adventure. A couple crackheads, a nice mother-daughter tandem, boarded two stops down and chose a spot next to me on the now-crowded trolley. The mother seemed to be the captain of her team, as she shouted at other passengers to move in to let others board. Her daughter, meanwhile, sat teary-eyed as she struggled to stay conscious. I guess that’s what crack does to people. The mother eventually settled down after she found a seat. She proceeded to bang on the seats, keeping the beat to a rhythm in her head. It was a great start to my weekend.

I arrived at my apt. for the weekend (my friend Robyn lent me her place while she was outta town) around 8pm and immediately started boozing. Is it just me, or does Coors Lite make college basketball even sweeter? I eventually found my way to the Metro, where OOB and I met up w/ some of our TP (New Class) friends at Brass Monkey. Beezy and Emifaci arrived shortly after to represent TP (Old School). The only thing missing was a small Jewish man and his ego. We all shot some billiards and tipped back pints as the nite grew louder. My daily pool playing last month in the Teen Center translated into success at the bar. Damn, it feels good to be a gangster.

When the nite seemed it couldn’t get better, my good friend Charlie and his g/f, Rachel, walked into the bar. The collision of VISTA friends and one of my Ameri-brothers was too much to handle. OK, I lied. I handled it, but I was overwhelmed with happiness. So happy, in fact, Charlie and I continued our tradition of punching each other as hard as we can. I stayed away from his sternum this time, though, considering I almost killed him back in August w/ a chest shot.

After more booze (including a Red Bull and Vodka for Charlie to keep him awake) and a failed attempt at hacking in the bar, I led Charlie and Rachel to Pizza Mart. She had no idea what was in store for her, although my repeated shouting of “Pizza MAAAAAAAAAAART” indicated we were embarking on a memorable mission. We were early enough to avoid the nightly line, and had our pizza in seconds. There’s no describing the look on someone’s face the first time they come face-to-face with a Jumbo Slice. When we finished, I put the two lovebirds in a cab and returned to Brass Monkey just in time to say goodbye to the Old School ladies Later (no idea at what time), OOB, the New Class and I went to Pizza Mart (I think I ate another slice of 1,300 calories) before calling it a nite. The only bad part of the entire evening? I didn’t see a single street fight.

Look for Part Two of my DC weekend tomorrow.

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