Two Elon alumni (2002) have pooled their talents to bring excitement and joy to your day. One is a classy woman who combines her Italian and feminine powers to influence men of all shapes and sizes. The other is a tall blond man who relies on wit and boyish good looks to impress women, especially when they're drunk. Join them in their epic pursuit of the phenomenon known as adulthood. NoSalesTax side effects may include addiction and abrupt laughter as colleagues look on in confused jealousy.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Some questions I'd like answered, please

How is it possible to actually consume less calories in a day than you burn, and still not lose weight?
Why do people like Dr. Phil?
If I have a nice office with a window and my boss decides to move us to small cubes with no windows, why does he think I will want to continue working here?
How many people apply to be on “The Amazing Race” and what are my chances of actually getting on the show?
Did anyone see the girl with blue hair audition last night for “American Idol”?
Why does J-Mazz insist that the Pats will beat the Eagles?
Why did it take J-Mazz so long to get a haircut?
Why does the Greggster think I will continue to be his friend if he keeps insulting my blog?
How am I supposed to eat 6 to 11 servings of “grains” per day?


At 4:18 PM, Blogger J-Mazz said...

The Answer Key:

1. I don't know.
2. Drug use is rampant in society.
3. He's a worthless bastard whose only way to exert power is by rearranging the offices of those below him.
4. Four hundred thirty-eight, meaning you have a better chance of getting on The Amazing Race than the Eagles have of winning on Sunday.
5. Her hair's not naturally blue. Trust me.
6. Because they're the team of the decade. Go CHAMPS.
7. I let myself go in DC cuz the city was void of ladies I needed to look good for. Do you really think guys care what their hair looks like?
8. Because you can't get enough New Jersey lovin'.
9. Lotsa oatmeal.

At 8:14 AM, Blogger Gregg M. Schmidt said...


At 12:04 PM, Blogger Emily said...

1) Bastard calories...
2) The people who like Dr. Phil like being yelled at and belittled - they should be seeking help for that
3) Because he thinks that there are other reasons to stay.
4) I don't know the odds, but your not a model or an actor, and I've never once seen a normal couple on that show.
5) No.
6) For the same reason you insist the Eagles will win.
7) NO idea
8) You're not... you'd be consuming way more calories than you burn in a day - refer to question 1


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