NoSalesTax

Two Elon alumni (2002) have pooled their talents to bring excitement and joy to your day. One is a classy woman who combines her Italian and feminine powers to influence men of all shapes and sizes. The other is a tall blond man who relies on wit and boyish good looks to impress women, especially when they're drunk. Join them in their epic pursuit of the phenomenon known as adulthood. NoSalesTax side effects may include addiction and abrupt laughter as colleagues look on in confused jealousy.

Friday, February 18, 2005

NEWS FLASH

Michael Jackson's two favorite things to do: "Climb trees and have water balloon fights."

The roomie and I watched a special on Mikey last night...It was like a car wreck- horrible and gruesome, yet we couldn't look away. The above quote was definetely one of the highlights of the show. After he said that, he raced off to a huge oak tree and, I shit you not, climbed up it with a huge grin on his face. I think he even waved from up there. The roomie said it best:

Roomie: How old is your dad?
T-Rock: I think about 48
Roomie: Ok, thats only a few years older than Michael Jackson. Does your dad have water balloon fights and climb trees? Are those his favorite things?
T-Rock: No.
Roomie: Ok. Does Michael Jackson realize other men his age don't do those things?
T-Rock: No.
Roomie: Ok.

7 Comments:

At 9:34 AM, Blogger Gregg M. Schmidt said...

That has NOTHING to do with Michael Jackson...Water Balloon fights and climbing trees? If I had a Gazillion dollars to do whatever I wanted and had an estate of a couple hundred acres I might climb a tree or two...Most men his age either don't have the time to climb trees or physically can't.

He's a wacko for many things but I wouldn't compare him to most people.

PS - Don't hunters climb trees to sit in tree stands?

 
At 9:44 AM, Blogger T-Rock said...

Hunters climb trees to kill animals to feed their families...at least that is what my dad, the hunter, does...since your comment is targeted at him. By the way, when we are visiting him this weekend, I'll be sure to let him know you were making fun of him ;)
Michael Jackson climbs trees because he is sick and crazy and thinks he is a child. He also has more money than brains. Actually, scratch that- he HAD more money than brains....ever since he had to start paying off little boys to keep their mouths shut about taking baths together, oral sex and sharing a bed, his bank account has been a little depleted.
Have a nice friday :)

 
At 9:51 AM, Blogger Gregg M. Schmidt said...

I was just responding to your roommates question of whether or not your Dad climbs trees.

And let's not be over-dramatic here - He doesn't kill animals to feed his family...he makes more then enough money to put food on the table - he hunts because he enjoys it and he also makes food out of it.

Lastly, I agree that MJ is sick - but climbing trees is NOT what would call the 'sick' part of his lifestyle

 
At 9:58 AM, Blogger Emily said...

Greggster - unless you watched last night it is impossible to understand just how deranged he seemed when climbing the tree. I believe he squeeled when he scurried up the tree. It was scary. And in his little whisper of a voice he says "my most favorite things ever are climbing trees and throwing water balloons." It's not a money thing, it's a mental health thing. He firmly believes he is a boy. He is a sick, sick man...

 
At 10:08 AM, Blogger T-Rock said...

Correction- My dad USED to hunt to provide food for his family, when I was young and we were very poor. I don't think that is being over dramatic. That is very, very real. Now, yes, he does enjoy it a bit more.
Michael Jackson climbs trees to lure in small boys and show them he is "one of them". Then he performs oral sex on them. So yes, climbing trees IS a sick part of his lifestyle.

 
At 4:57 PM, Blogger J-Mazz said...

Tree stands in Wisconsin are sometimes used by men to shoot and kill other men.

 
At 2:00 PM, Blogger T-Rock said...

Can we all agree that my dad is normal, doesn't molest children and does not shoot men in Wisconsin? Just for sanity's sake?

 

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