NoSalesTax

Two Elon alumni (2002) have pooled their talents to bring excitement and joy to your day. One is a classy woman who combines her Italian and feminine powers to influence men of all shapes and sizes. The other is a tall blond man who relies on wit and boyish good looks to impress women, especially when they're drunk. Join them in their epic pursuit of the phenomenon known as adulthood. NoSalesTax side effects may include addiction and abrupt laughter as colleagues look on in confused jealousy.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Seventh Wheel

Several days into 2005, I’ve begun to reflect upon last weekend. What could've been a lonely New Year's (I was the seventh wheel, so to speak), turned out to be my best ever. No, there was no wild nite with a hot blonde. There was no drinking myself into a blind stupor (I usually save that for DC). This year was more of a bridge between youth and adulthood, and I was able to spend it w/ some of my best friends.

The characters:
Sol and Alicia (dating since high school)
Steve and Meredith (dating since summer)
Grashow and Katee (dating since summer, I think)
Me and my sense of humor (together for quite some time)

The setting:
Portland, Maine

The prologue:
Steve, Meredith and I drove up Friday from Keene, NH, picking up Grashow and Katee at the airport at 9am en route to Portland.

Friday
We pre-gamed Friday afternoon at Sol and Alicia’s, drinking whiskey and wine while watching the Red Sox World Series Champions DVD. Then we transformed into grown-ups, changing into jackets and ties (just the guys) and all went out to a fancy dinner downtown. I was lucky enough to sit between Sol and Alicia, enabling me to watch as Sol sucked down whiskey after whiskey. Alicia had no idea. After going to Sol’s sister’s boyfriend’s apt. for some more drinking, we decided to head to the bars (still wearing grown-up clothes). I volunteered to be the Sol-sitter, which consisted of following him around town as he stood on every park bench and said to no one in particular, “Welcome to Portland. It’s a beautiful city.” He repeated this at least five times, staring straight ahead each time he delivered the message.

We got to the bar and Sol immediately sprinted down to the basement in search of a bathroom, walking right past the sign that said “restrooms upstairs.” Tailing him, I watched him walk out the back door of the bar. I quickly followed, spotting him just as he turned the corner outside, running at full speed. I chased him down and convinced him to return to the bar. Disaster averted. Once back inside, he suggested pissing in a supply closet. Maybe I should’ve let him, just to see what would’ve happened.

Anyway, Sol was out of commission at 10pm, taking a cab home with Alicia before passing out in bed. Everyone else went dancing, which is totally my scene. Not. The nite ended with us spending 20 min. looking for a cab and searching for Katee’s lost earring. Surprisingly, we didn’t find it among the mass of people.

Saturday
The day was another hodge-podge (I’ve always wanted to use that word in a sentence) of youth/adult fun. We boys played football on a muddy field while the girls went shopping. Ten years from now, we might have ditched the football idea due to the muddy conditions, but not on this day. On the opening kickoff, Steve and I (perhaps the two most competitive people on the eastern seaboard) kicked off to Sol and Grashow. As I punted the ball, I def. slipped backward, going airborne for a second before landing on my back. Ever seen those cartoons where someone slips on a banana peel and lands horizontally? That was me. Anyway, Steve and I won handily, perhaps because we looked so intimidating wearing eye-black thanks to Katee’s eyeliner. Did I mention we’re 24?

After we all showered, everyone sat around the table and played Cranium before enjoying a delicious dinner prepared by the girls. We drank champagne and talked about our careers (yikes). When did we become our parents? We then changed into our Red Sox apparel and did a Power Hour before goin to the bars. Yeeeehaw!

So is this what adulthood is like, a constant balance between discussing 401(k)s, CDs and Steve’s Power Hour CD?? How old is too old to go bar-hopping on New Year’s Eve? This year, I realized the best way to start a year is by spending it with your friends, even if you are the third (or seventh) wheel. After all, there’re plenty of nites to kiss someone at midnite. Finding time to spend with old friends, however, only gets harder as we fall into adulthood.

2 Comments:

At 12:00 PM, Blogger Gregg M. Schmidt said...

Yes, this is what adulthood is...401(k), savings and all that junk. Obviously Sol just wanted to welcome everyone to the great city of Portland.

Keene has got to be almost 3 hours from Portland, no?

 
At 2:10 PM, Blogger J-Mazz said...

Keene and Portland are separated by just two and a half hours, which go by quickly when stuffed w/ two other people in the backseat of a Honda Civic. Amen for the ride, though. The only times it sux being tall are:

1) Long trips (car/plane/bus)
2) Shopping for clothes (why are tall sizes more expensive?)
3) Talking to shorter people in loud settings, such as bars or airport runways
4) Shoot-outs w/ rival gangs

 

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