NoSalesTax

Two Elon alumni (2002) have pooled their talents to bring excitement and joy to your day. One is a classy woman who combines her Italian and feminine powers to influence men of all shapes and sizes. The other is a tall blond man who relies on wit and boyish good looks to impress women, especially when they're drunk. Join them in their epic pursuit of the phenomenon known as adulthood. NoSalesTax side effects may include addiction and abrupt laughter as colleagues look on in confused jealousy.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Two Steps Into Winter...

And it’s another 60-degree December day in DC (accidental alliteration). I’m lookin forward to flying up to winter tonite, where tomorrow I will greet N.H. w/ a much-needed haircut and overdue Christmas shopping. I’m most excited for New Year’s, though, because this is one of the few years I actually have plans. I guess I’m officially grown-up. My friend Sol lives in Portland, Maine, w/ his HS sweetheart Alicia. I’m riding up there Dec. 31 w/ my friend Steve and his g/f, Meredith. On the way, we’re picking our friend Jon up at the airport, who will be traveling w/ his new g/f Katie. Wow, this is starting to sound like a word problem in math class. Speaking of math, if you’re any good at ‘rithmetic, you’ve realized I’ve introduced six characters for New Year’s, three couples. Where does that leave me? Well, it could shape up to be the greatest New Year’s weekend of my life considering I’ll have three wingmen. Or it may turn out to be just like 2004. Either way, I’m sure it’ll be memorable as the seventh wheel. Here’s a quick rundown of our plans:

December 31
7:30am: Depart Keene, N.H., for Manchester Airport.

8:00am: Wish I were dead instead of riding on a two-lane highway with very little sleep.

8:30am: Fall asleep in the backseat.

8:35am: Wake up angry that I couldn’t fall asleep until five minutes before reaching the airport.

8:36am: Welcome Jon and his g/f, marking the second time in as many weeks I meet a friend’s g/f.

8:37am: “No bitch!”

10:00am: Pull up to Sol’s house and scout places for a nap.

1:00pm: Watch football.

4:00pm: Take a nap.

5:00pm: Get dressed (jacket and tie).

5:45pm: Finally give up trying to tie my tie and have someone else do it for me. Look for me in next year’s Special Olympics.

6:00pm: Fancy dinner with champagne.

6:30pm: Switch to beer.

3:00am: Watch the Red Sox 2004 DVD and the latest Patriots Super Bowl DVD.

Due to time (and attention-span) constraints, I’ll go ahead and end the hourly reports and just say how excited I am to go out Sat. nite., as well. Why? Well, after a dressed-up nite, we will be headin to the bars sporting Sox hats, World Series T-shirts and champagne goggles. Now if that’s not ringing in the New Year, I don’t know what is.

3 Comments:

At 3:14 PM, Blogger Gregg M. Schmidt said...

Sounds like an awesome time...i'm sure your friends will help as wingmen.
and remember - upon meeting a chick, after a few minutes of chatting tell her, "You have such pretty eyes." or hair or smile - whatever you think.

It has a 92% accuracy rate - it will lock you in for your New Years kiss.

We Ride

 
At 3:26 PM, Blogger T-Rock said...

you know, greggster, i don't remember you ever using these lines on me. i guess thats because you were so nervous :)

 
At 3:50 PM, Blogger J-Mazz said...

Or maybe he used those lines while you were in the bathroom.

Maybe I'll pull out my "you're not very good looking but you're my friend's g/f's friend so I might as well give it a shot cuz it's midnite and I'm hammered" line:

"So, ya wanna kiss?" It didn't work last year, and I'm fine w/ that.

 

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