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Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Time for Reflection

I always seem to get more philosophical during the holidays. Perhaps it's the contagious merriment or just the overwhelming realization that another year of life is gone. Either way, it's time for me to pose one of my questions. Give it some thought and please post your answer as a "comment." I'd love to hear your answer.

Everyone's seen a movie, read a book or heard a song about someone who cannot get over a past love. The character may be happily married, unhappily married, or still sad and single. What I'm wondering is, do you think most people marry the person they love the most? Or do you think a great deal of people you pass on the street wish they'd held on to a previous lover? This question has started to bother me as I begin attending friends' weddings. If marriage is the farthest thing from your mind (as it is for me), tell me what you think about dating and relationships. Is the next one always the best, or do people carry w/ them memories of a perfect relationship that ended prematurely?


At 9:26 AM, Blogger Gregg M. Schmidt said...

I think this is something that most people think about...or people that actually think about things. I'm 27 years old now and thankfully a little over a year ago I started dating a girl who I've fallen deeply in love with...but before I started dating her - I asked myself similar questions. Honestly, it's a good thing that you're thinking about these things - bceause I think it will lead you to the right person. I remember going to a lot of weddings (I've got 8 good friends that are married now...4 more that are engaged, including my younger sister) and thinking, "Wow, they're so much in love with each other - I hope that never changes for them...and I hope that I have that opportunity too."
I asked one of my friends whose been married for over 3 years how he feels about being married now (or a month ago). He told me that it gets better and better every day. I remember smiling and thinking - that's great. I know that guy had a few other girlfriends in college - but when you find the right one I don't think there's any reason to think of the old ones.
Something else that I live by - Those old relationships...even though many of which end bad, they are stepping stones in the path of life. We learn things from past relationships and we grow from them. We also figure out what we want in our next relationship and what we don't want.
As for your question of whether the next relationship will be the best...No way. I've dated almost a dozen girls in my day and with each one I think I had the feeling after about one month where it would probably go. The next one doesn't have to be the best one - because this isn't like a basketball to play with. Sure you're not happy with the grip, or you think the air leaks a little and doesn't give it a true bounce but you play with it for months and months because 1) you don't want to pay another $40 for a new one and 2) it's just a ball - deal with it.
THIS IS A REAL THING. I've always looked at relationships as the first 1-2 months you're dating this person and getting to know them, but if someone else comes along that you like more then you should give that one a try. The next best one is hopefully going to come soon - but you can't force-feed yourself with food that doesn't sit well with you. It's ok to think about an old relationship from time-to-time but don't ever dwell on it. Don't ever wish you still had it. Because chances are it ended for a reason. Either they weren't happy, you weren't happy or both. Again it's better that it ended and it's best to put it behind you and move on...there's more stepping stones in life to walk on.

We Ride.
Happy Holidays...

At 9:09 PM, Blogger J-Mazz said...

Staying w/ the basketball analogy: Is it fair to the new basketball to be thinking about your old ball while playing w/ the new one? I don't think so, which is why I go w/out a basketball for long periods of time.

Now it's time to drop the bball analogy.


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