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Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Pet peeves.....and we will have a lot of these.....

I have this pet peeve about people who always have to disagree. There are several categories of people….There’s several ways of always disagreeing-

“Yes and no.” The first group of people has to throw this into every conversation. For example, I would say, “It looks pretty crappy outside today. They would answer, “Well, yes and no. It’s not great now, but I think the temperature is gonna go up later.” Or, “I think we should try calling the distributor to get his opinion.” And they would answer, “Yes and no. We should maybe call, but then I wouldn’t take his opinion as gospel.”
My old boss used “yes and no” as a response to 97% of my questions or statements. I felt like she was trying to acknowledge me, but also tell me I was always going to be wrong on some level. I mean let’s face it, everything with her was a mind game anyway, but this used to drive me crazy. It’s like I could never be right. There would always be something she would have to tell me to really make things work. I worked for her for about a year and a half and by the end of that prison sentence, I wanted to cringe and scream every time I heard “yes and no”.
People like this feel like they are helping in some way. Shall I be the one to let them know they are NOT? Maybe I shall.
The best part about “yes and no” users is that usually, the question or statement I make doesn’t even need that kind of an answer. The answer doesn’t make sense. When I say it looks crappy out, you can agree with me. It’s ok- I won’t let it get to my head. You don’t have to remind me that the temperature will be increasing later in the day! That has nothing to do with the crap that is currently the weather.

“Not exactly.” This is kind of an extension of “Yes and no”. Also manifests in the form of, “Not quite”. People who feel the need to say “not exactly” are usually the ones who really feel like you want their input. They feel like they need to hear themselves talk. Like they are doing the rest of us a great service. They feel like you might be on the right track, but you’re not precisely right, the way they are. Example: I say “This coffee tastes old.” The response might be, “Not exactly. It’s more like the beans weren’t ground enough, so the flavor just didn’t really get absorbed by the water well enough.”
This is when you throw the hot coffee at their head.
No, no, no, just kidding. Don’t throw it. It won’t help the situation (I know this from experience). “Not exactly” users really value their opinion, want to poop on yours, and can’t ever really be convinced that what they have to say DOES NOT MATTER.
Frankly, there’s nothing worse than having someone let you know you are on the right track but it is their brains that will truly set you right. Well, maybe hot coffee on your head is worse. I will ask the person I threw coffee at which they think is worse.

The condescending laugh. This might be the worst of them all. This type of person doesn’t even really have to say something to let you know they do not agree with you, nor do they think you have a clue what you are talking about. Example: I say, “That was a helpful meeting.” They answer with a condescending laugh. Then, they would tilt their head and maybe raise an eyebrow. Sometimes it comes out as a little huff rather than a laugh. The noise is often unique to the individual.
AGGGGHHHH!!!!!! Do I even need to write anything? You know what I’m talking about.

Note: This doesn’t mean I’m always looking for people to agree with me. Because truly, I can’t stand it when I witness this happening to someone else, either. It just means I notice a trend in people who can’t possibly agree with me, based on some principal. What is that principle? Maybe they think they are smarter than me. Maybe they think they have something to teach me. Maybe they feel like they can’t possibly just let me have my own thought or idea or plan.

Maybe I should start avoiding these people.


At 2:50 PM, Blogger Gregg M. Schmidt said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 1:31 PM, Blogger Gregg M. Schmidt said...

this is a great one...

reminds me of that sound 'you can deal with this - or you can with that'



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