Two Elon alumni (2002) have pooled their talents to bring excitement and joy to your day. One is a classy woman who combines her Italian and feminine powers to influence men of all shapes and sizes. The other is a tall blond man who relies on wit and boyish good looks to impress women, especially when they're drunk. Join them in their epic pursuit of the phenomenon known as adulthood. NoSalesTax side effects may include addiction and abrupt laughter as colleagues look on in confused jealousy.

Monday, December 13, 2004

More Hot Cartoon Characters

I love how T-Rock tried to play it off like this was my idea. Please. Cartoons were a big part of my life growing up, as evidenced by my pre-school days when I would go to my friend Josh's house after school to be baby-sat by his mom. Josh's mom would make us watch Sesame Street every afternoon, but whenever she left the room, I'd quickly change the channel to He-Man. I stopped going to his house after I left a red shirt on a lamp (for the red-light effect) and almost burned the house down. I blamed it on Josh, who has downs syndrome. Apparently his mom didn't think that was too funny. I could write an entire post on babysitters, but not today. The cartoon vixens are calling my name. Here are some of the finest:

Rainbow Bright
I still remember the theme song from this show, which is pretty pathetic until you remember my mutant memory. My first sexual dream was about Rainbow Bright when I was six years old. Apparently I skipped Freud's whole latency period and went straight to Stage Five. This would explain a lot.

Any straight man who claims not to have lusted over this Thundercat is a dirty dirty liar. Just thinking about her wild blond hair and gymnastic ability is enough to drive a lesser man crazy. I will never forget the Thundercats episode that showed each character sans clothing. That was the highlight of my life until I kissed Allison, the hottest girl in my kindergarten class. Btw, whoever drew this needs a g/f.

Ever seen someone the morning after a hook-up and wonder what you were thinking? That's how I feel right now after searching Google Images. Talk about a butter face! Alas, if she's good enough for He-Man, she's good enough for me. Check out this picture of Teela discovering a rare sex toy just outside Castle Grayskull. Come to think of it, how sexual was that entire show? Just a few character names for you to think about: Beast Man, Trap Jaw, Ram-Man. And where did He-Man's arch-nemesis, Skeletor, live? SNAKE MOUNTAIN!


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