NoSalesTax

Two Elon alumni (2002) have pooled their talents to bring excitement and joy to your day. One is a classy woman who combines her Italian and feminine powers to influence men of all shapes and sizes. The other is a tall blond man who relies on wit and boyish good looks to impress women, especially when they're drunk. Join them in their epic pursuit of the phenomenon known as adulthood. NoSalesTax side effects may include addiction and abrupt laughter as colleagues look on in confused jealousy.

Monday, December 20, 2004

Is it time to eat?

It’s certainly the holiday season. If you didn’t notice the lights, the trees, the considerable dent in your checking account or the Christmas music (YES!!!) on the radio, then maybe you have noticed the ridiculous amount of junk food in your office kitchen.
My office kitchen is no exception. This morning, I arrived at 8 am to find a huge cheesecake on the table. By 8:45, at least 3 people had pieces. It is now 11:22 and it is practically gone. Who eats cheesecake at 8 in the morning?? To answer your question, no, it was not a breakfast cheesecake, if there even is such a thing.
Last week the kitchen was covered in fine chocolates, salted roasted pecans, chewy brownies and big chocolate chip cookies. There was also a variety of German gingerbread cookies and an assortment of hard candy.
Vendors, my friends, are the culprits. Everyone wants to say, thanks for your business! Or, give us your business next year! Or even, our prices are rising, but look! We sent cookies! Every vendor we use and don’t use has sent a variety of food……and I feel like they sent it to make me fat.
Most of these vendors don’t know me but I can’t help feeling like they hate me and want me to swell.
Maybe when we send these vendors thank you cards, we can say, “Thank you for the thoughtful gift, but the new girl is getting very fat. Maybe next year you can send delicious Slim Fast shakes and a jump rope.”

4 Comments:

At 12:05 PM, Blogger Gregg M. Schmidt said...

you are not fat...but you are BEAUTIFUL

 
At 1:21 PM, Blogger T-Rock said...

thank you lovey :)
update on fat-fest 2005: 6 dozen freshly baked cookies have just been delivered.

 
At 3:41 PM, Blogger T-Rock said...

Fat-fest 2005 update: rather large box of See's chocolates just delivered. Today is turning into a bad joke.

 
At 4:39 PM, Blogger J-Mazz said...

I eat cheesecake for breakfast whenever I devour too much dinner at The Cheesecake Factory the nite before. To get in the holiday season, I had some pumpkin cheesecake yesterday for breakfast, and it was fantastic.

Any bets on T-Rock and Greggster gettin each other mistletoe for Christmas?

 

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