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Monday, December 27, 2004

In response

It’s 8:30 am, two days after Christmas. I am one of five people working in my office…everyone else has young children. They are probably asleep right now, and if they are not, they are putting together battleships, laughing at new DVD’s, eating leftovers, drinking coffee, or looking for the place to put the batteries in their kids new remote control car.
But I’m not bitter!
The holiday, while short, was great. And the lack of people here can really only mean one thing for me- more time to blog!!!!
So, I’ll start with entertaining J-Mazz’s last entry.
There are a million theories about marriage, soul mates, finding “the one”, or just finding “one”. People form their opinions, most of the time, based on their own experiences. So, my experience tells me to never give up hope, never stop living or loving, never settle.
I have settled several times, only to end up hurt or disappointed or both. It is when I learned to really like myself, expect that someone would like me for the right reasons, and just relaxed that I found my true love. And when you learn expect the best, you can then learn to compromise. Because when you know you have the best thing possible, the compromise comes easy.
If a past relationship was perfect, it would not be in the past. Maybe it was perfect in that moment, but true love doesn’t get up and leave without any explanation. It doesn’t avoid your attempts at reconciliation, it doesn’t ignore you, it doesn’t disregard your feelings. If it does, it isn’t love. Not anymore.
If it seemed perfect and it ended, if time passed by and it didn’t reconcile, it wasn’t meant to be.
Sometimes I think we put these past relationships and experiences on a pedestal to look at, ache over, admire, wish we could relive. Sometimes we look at the past and pretend it was greater than it ever really was. We forget the bad times and only remember the good.
I have had these moments in my life when a relationship ended and I wished so, so hard that something would click, that an ex would figure out that I was worth all their time and effort and change and love. That he would realize the stupid mistake and find me and save me and love me. But all the wishing and thinking and hoping doesn’t help. It just makes you that much more disappointed when nothing happens, or worse, when you try to make something happen, and they don’t respond the way you wish they would.
Sometimes, relationships are worth a second try. But that second try, in my experience, usually ends in wishing you never gave it a second try.


At 10:41 AM, Blogger Gregg M. Schmidt said...

good one


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